Kids or Cats?? Hmmm...
I'm a girl! **really?? Never have guessed** I'm 26 years old. I'm getting married. It seems that these three statements are a licence for every old biddy to crow at me "ooooo when are you gonna start having babies then?" or " it'll be yooooooooou next" said in a way that makes me think 'OMG i'm gonna get hit by a bus and die in the next five minutes!! Run... RUN!!!!!"
huh... How about when hell freezes over and Satan dies of frostbite??
Don't misunderstand me, i adore children. I have a wonderful niece and nephew. They are a delight to visit and watch them learn new things and grow over the years.
They are not, however, a 'delight' when they decide to bite my ankles and stab random sharp objects in me when they are in 'playful' mode.
(on a complete tangent, my niece learned the word 'Bollocks' the other day and ran round my mums front room singing 'Bollocks bollocks you wanna play with me bollocks, they need emptying cos they're gonna explode soon...' I think somebody should of closed the bedroom door before requesting that their bollocks were emptied. It didn't help matters that i exploded with laughter and my rather embarrassed SIL banished me to the garden until i calmed down. Awww bless, she's only 6.)
and you wonder why i don't want children??
Babies hate me. They cry if i as much fart in their direction. and it really fuels the irritation in me when friends who have had babies want me to hold them. Why??? Do you want your child to scream they place down the minute they see me?? Cos that will happen!! Believe!
I rather have a cat than spawn another me. I have a cat called Darth. He's the bestest cat in the whole wide world. He sits on the arm of the sofa glaring at me while licking the gaping hole where his balls should be. He hates me at the moment cos it twas i who took him to the evil vet/torturer who quite swiftly lopped his balls off and left Darth feeling, well, like a cat who has lost his manhood in rather a demeaning way. All the girl cats will laugh at him cos he has no balls. **ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**
If i ever announce on this blog that i'm spawning a mini me, then remind me that i rather have a cat!!
And yes, for those who might be wondering, i had the delightful phrase whispered in my pretty little ear last night...
'ding ding round two...'
and you know what?? I couldn't stop laughing!!
Reason why she's pissy today? For fucks sake NO!!!! I'd rather have a cat ta.
huh... How about when hell freezes over and Satan dies of frostbite??
Don't misunderstand me, i adore children. I have a wonderful niece and nephew. They are a delight to visit and watch them learn new things and grow over the years.
They are not, however, a 'delight' when they decide to bite my ankles and stab random sharp objects in me when they are in 'playful' mode.
(on a complete tangent, my niece learned the word 'Bollocks' the other day and ran round my mums front room singing 'Bollocks bollocks you wanna play with me bollocks, they need emptying cos they're gonna explode soon...' I think somebody should of closed the bedroom door before requesting that their bollocks were emptied. It didn't help matters that i exploded with laughter and my rather embarrassed SIL banished me to the garden until i calmed down. Awww bless, she's only 6.)
and you wonder why i don't want children??
Babies hate me. They cry if i as much fart in their direction. and it really fuels the irritation in me when friends who have had babies want me to hold them. Why??? Do you want your child to scream they place down the minute they see me?? Cos that will happen!! Believe!
I rather have a cat than spawn another me. I have a cat called Darth. He's the bestest cat in the whole wide world. He sits on the arm of the sofa glaring at me while licking the gaping hole where his balls should be. He hates me at the moment cos it twas i who took him to the evil vet/torturer who quite swiftly lopped his balls off and left Darth feeling, well, like a cat who has lost his manhood in rather a demeaning way. All the girl cats will laugh at him cos he has no balls. **ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**
If i ever announce on this blog that i'm spawning a mini me, then remind me that i rather have a cat!!
And yes, for those who might be wondering, i had the delightful phrase whispered in my pretty little ear last night...
'ding ding round two...'
and you know what?? I couldn't stop laughing!!
Reason why she's pissy today? For fucks sake NO!!!! I'd rather have a cat ta.
posted by LMPP at 7:25 PM
