It's not safe
OMG! The barf fest continues...
Last night - go to work in pub, bosses grandchildren randomly running round and beating the fuck out of each other as normal, one gets overexcited and pukes, other sees the puke and pukes, smallest grandchild giggles uncontrollably and... yep, pukes. Get home from work, feeling marginally safe in my child free flat. D comes to bed and pukes. Seriously, i could not believe what i was hearing (had head under pillow the moment D opened his mouth and clamped his hand over it - no way was i witnessing more goddamn barf). Tidal wave across the bathroom, cat trying to eat it, Me trying not to barf in kitchen sink, D moaning that his stomach hurts. Ha, no sympathy from me buddy, what did i tell you about barfing near me?!! Being the terrified girlie that thought somehow in the night D may throw up and drown me i made his sleep on the sofa! He didn't complain, it meant all night telly for him!!
Got up this morning to drive to work and there is a pile of suspect cat parts on the kitchen lino! Can't quite tell if its shit or puke, whatever, i'm not touching it. Cat sat on kitchen chair contemplating life while licking his non existant balls. Woke D up and told him to mop it up before the cat eats it. I heard a grunt so hes ok!!
Now i'm in my office all on my todd so i think i'm pretty safe. Unless i throw up. Although i feel ok and have eaten mountains of sugar puffs for brekkie, that won't be a pretty site if that comes out the wrong end. No work tonight so that lessens the chances of a child homing in on me, projectile vomiting all the way. However, the same cannot be said for D.
Someone pass me a mop.
Last night - go to work in pub, bosses grandchildren randomly running round and beating the fuck out of each other as normal, one gets overexcited and pukes, other sees the puke and pukes, smallest grandchild giggles uncontrollably and... yep, pukes. Get home from work, feeling marginally safe in my child free flat. D comes to bed and pukes. Seriously, i could not believe what i was hearing (had head under pillow the moment D opened his mouth and clamped his hand over it - no way was i witnessing more goddamn barf). Tidal wave across the bathroom, cat trying to eat it, Me trying not to barf in kitchen sink, D moaning that his stomach hurts. Ha, no sympathy from me buddy, what did i tell you about barfing near me?!! Being the terrified girlie that thought somehow in the night D may throw up and drown me i made his sleep on the sofa! He didn't complain, it meant all night telly for him!!
Got up this morning to drive to work and there is a pile of suspect cat parts on the kitchen lino! Can't quite tell if its shit or puke, whatever, i'm not touching it. Cat sat on kitchen chair contemplating life while licking his non existant balls. Woke D up and told him to mop it up before the cat eats it. I heard a grunt so hes ok!!
Now i'm in my office all on my todd so i think i'm pretty safe. Unless i throw up. Although i feel ok and have eaten mountains of sugar puffs for brekkie, that won't be a pretty site if that comes out the wrong end. No work tonight so that lessens the chances of a child homing in on me, projectile vomiting all the way. However, the same cannot be said for D.
Someone pass me a mop.
posted by LMPP at 4:26 PM
I don't care if you're making this stuff up! I love it anyway! ROFLMAO
Seriously hon, i wish i was making it up. It's 1.55pm and i'm still feeling sick and slightly shaky at the thought of leaving my safe haven. Thankfully, D hasn't been sick today, probably saving it up for me when i get home!!
Aw damn. Chicken Little stole my comment before I could make it. I was going to say, "Okay, I know you're making this up now."
If you hurl, I'm gonna hurl.
(I don't really believe you're making it up, btw.)
My verification word for that last comment was "ottsy." I've decided this is going to be my new word to describe the nauseated feeling you get while witnessing others in the act of vomiting. You can use it in a sentence like, "Oh my God, get away from me, I'm feeling ottsy already!"
Okay, my verification word for that LAST post was "ovrhurl." I'm not kidding. If this isn't the perfect word to describe the condition that makes one more likely to vomit while witnessing others in the act of vomiting, I don't know what is. No, it's not the same as ottsy. You feel ottsy while you're watching someone puke. Your predilection for puking is caused by a condition called overhurl.
Shutting up.
Mister Hand you do make me giggle!!
This is what I live for.