my 'slight' problem

I call it my 'slight' problem cos it's a 'not in my face' problem. its more of a 'niggly in the background' problem so all comments and views will be most appreicated!!

The other day, a chappie that i speak to regularly over the phone seemed all depressed and down. So me being the nice, compassionate girlie i am said if you wanna talk, you know where i am.

I so wish i hadn't bothered.

I received basically a 50 page email detailing his 'problem'. Lets just say he would rather be a 'lady'. Big time. Now thats not my problem. If that floats your boat then let it float your boat. No, my problem comes from the next part of his 'confession', and i am seriously freaked out. He told me that he is into 'domaineering women'. Thats ok. He told me he used to have a 'mistress'. Thats ok too. He then went into graphic detail telling me what turns him on and what gets him off. That has made me wanna run and hide in case he comes looking for me to whip him or something.

I mean, there is nooo way on this planet that i would divulge my darkest bedroom secrets to you. I don't even tell my bestest friends. That info is for me and D. The bloke now keeps emailing things like...

'Its all my fault' and 'i'll have to punish myself' and 'i've bought myself a little something...' The worse one was...

'Do you have any ideas of how to punish me cos i've been bad?'

Eh, No. Do not use me in your sexual fantasies. Ewww, ewww and ewwwwww!!!

D finds it so funny. He keeps asking me to print off the emails so he can have a laugh. Now, how do i get this bloke to fuck off and stop bugging me with this shit without upsetting anyone?? I can't be nasty. Nor can i refuse to speak to him. Help, help help!!!

I am so going home to scrub myself clean, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. Seriously though, i wouldn't mind if he hadn't involved me in deciding his 'punishment'. ewwwwww god, i'm not talking about it anymore.

Nope. NO. Fuck off!!

Minging.