Drama at Chez LMPP!!

Firstly, apologies for my lack of blogginess. I have been indisposed at the hands of 'man flu', quite obviously caught from a man. No names mentioned. However, i have risen from the bed of death to enlighten you to the trauma of last friday morning...

S... P... I... D... E... R.

And a fucking big one at that. At least 1 inch away from my little toe. It was one of them big, black, hobnail boot wearing house spiders, the ones that come up from under the floorboards and eats you whole with no warning. And at 7.30 in the morning, whilst slowly dying from a headache that has kept you up all frigging night, LMPP did one thing...

She screaMED!!

And D, who was dozing peacefully in the room next door almost had a heart attack and had to peel himself off the ceiling before any help was offered. In fact, the conversation went a bit like this...

'What???'
'AGAGAG
'What???'
Spi GAAGAGGA der
'Shut the fuck up screaming and tell me whats wrong!!!!'
'Theres a spider over there' *sobs*
'Fuck me you silly cow! I thought there was an axe murderer or something. Get out of my sodding way...'
*thump*
'There. dead. Now shut up.'

Note the lack of sympathy. In fact, he is still a bit pissed of with me 3 days later. Well, i'd like to see what he'd do if a spider jumped out and ate him in one go.

Pah!