Manners cost nothing

You know what? It doesn't cost the earth to have a little grace when speaking to someone that annoys you and that you have to put up with as you work with them 3 times a week.

Let me give you a little background on me...

I'm not the most smiley person in the world, and i can come across to people that don't know me as offhandish and miserable. Just so you know, it's called shyness. I'm not a great conversationalist as you probably have worked out by reading this here blog. I don't make small talk to fill a silence as previous experience made me realise how stupid i sound and if anyone tells me to 'cheer up' or 'smile', it really pisses me off.

Just because i ain't smiling, doesn't mean i'm not happy.

I don't laugh out loud at funny TV programs. I rarely laugh out loud at funny jokes. I'm quiet with people who aren't my friends and i'm quiet with people who i've just met. I work in a pub. I smile at every customer i serve, whether i want to or not and i'm polite, watching my Ps and Qs.

Everyone who knows me knows how i am.

What i don't like, is when newbies start at work and instantly dislike me because i'm 'offhand' with them. Actually, no, that doesn't piss me off. What really upsets me is when the said newbie bitches, behind my back, about me to people i have built great friendships with. They are the ones who put these newbies straight about me. But when the newbie bitches to other newbies about me, it stops working in the pub being any fun as they don't listen to my friends, or find out for themselves what i'm really like.

I feel awkward about going to work now. I feel myself going red as i walk in and see new staff talking behind their hands as i walk by. I feel i'm clumsy, stupid and out of place. I don't have fun quite so often at work anymore. I can't wait to leave and go home.

I was told today that i think i'm above the other girls because i'm about to marry the bar manager. I didn't think i was like that. In fact, i don't clambor for extra shifts, even if i really need the money so they don't think i'm using D as a spring board. I get just as much shit from the landlord as they all do, i also get D's shit because i'm his girfriend and his sounding board.

I'm not going to quit, i'm not a quitter. And as for 'manners cost nothing'? Make your own mind up. This is how the end of shift conversation went yesterday...

Me: 'Have you recorded the wastage yet?'
Newbie: 'Eh?'
M: 'It's ok, i'll have a look and fill it in'
N: 'Stop trying to take over, you always think you're better than everyone else. I'll do the wastage, i was doing it anyway'
M: 'Ok, whatever'
later on:
N: 'Move'
M: 'Sorry?'
N: 'I said move'
M: 'Why?'
N: 'Just move'
M: 'Fine'

I moved, only to be barged anyway.

I had a glass explode in my face yesterday. I spent 20 minutes picking the glass out of my hair. I suppose i was lucky that i didn't damage my eyes. It shocked me so much i spent the next half hour crying. Good job really as slivers of glass were in my tears. If i had rubbed my eyes i certainly would of damaged them. My bosses mum made me wash my eyes with that eyebath stuff. I hate that stuff, makes my eyes sting. I had a bath when i got home, and spent a while de lousing the glass off me. I still feel a bit gritty today.