Ow, ow and ow some more...
I have a massive gash on my elbow, cuts all over my hands and fingers and blisters on my heels.
Why?
Because Friday night was the 1st of my many Hen nights, and to be honest, I think this one's gonna top the lot...
Recap:
* 7.30pm: Met all the girls at the pub for a quick half before wandering into Town to get down to some serious frolicking.
*9.00pm: Still in the pub, decidedly shitfaced from the copious amounts of wine I was fed.
*9.30pm: Finally in town, heading for the nearest Weatherspoons for some cheap beer.
9.40pm: Acosted D's uncle, who happened to be the doorman at Weatherspoons.
9.45pm: Made D's uncle hold my fairy wands and pose for pictures...
9.46pm: Got told to 'Sod Off' by D's uncle.
10.00pm: Headed for the next pub
10.05pm: Found a table...
10.10pm: Found myself being dragged up on stage for an impromtu strip show
10.15pm: Found out the girls had paid £6 to the uglist man in the pub to strip for me.
10.16pm: And that he worked there
10.30pm: DJ insisted that I get the pants from some bloke as a trophy of my night.
10.45pm: Had said pants.
11.00pm: K decided to wear them on her head for a laugh.
11.01pm: Promptly threw them across the dance floor when skid marks were discovered.
11.15pm: Fell over, Hard. when trying some funky dance moves...
11.16pm: Told that said funky dance moves made me look like I was being electrocuted.
11.17pm: Realised that elbow was killing me and decided I'd broken it.
11.18pm: Forgot elbow was killing me and continued with the funky dance moves.
11.30pm: Left pub for food
11.45pm: Told the kebab man to give me 'meat & bread dammit'.
11.50pm: Also told the kebab man to 'get that stinking salad off my meat!! Did I ask for it?? It smells of piss!! Do you use piss as a dressing? They use piss as a dressing!!'
11.51pm: Asked to leave.
11.51pm: Without kebab.
11.52pm: K bought me my meat & bread. Was very happy.
11.59pm: L decided to nick a wheelie bin.
11.59pm: A large skip like wheelie bin
12.00pm: Wedged said wheelie bin in lane. Still there Monday morning.
12.01pm: Got back to pub
12.05pm: Attacked D with fairy wand
1.10pm: Got told that man who stripped for me 'does it all the time for a fiver'! We were robbed!!
8.30am Saturday: Woke to stinking hangover and sore elbow
8.35am: Couldn't understand why elbow was so sore
8.50am: Discovered half my elbow skin had come off
9.00am: Tried to wash off the writing on my arm??
9.01am: Writing will not come off
6.30pm: Still have 'injured' written on my arm in red marker pen.
7.00am Sunday: Still there
9.30pm: Still there
7.30am Monday: Still there albeit faded a little.
Now: Still there although have scrubbed at it with white spirit. Boss keeps threatening to light a match near me.
Why?
Because Friday night was the 1st of my many Hen nights, and to be honest, I think this one's gonna top the lot...
Recap:
* 7.30pm: Met all the girls at the pub for a quick half before wandering into Town to get down to some serious frolicking.
*9.00pm: Still in the pub, decidedly shitfaced from the copious amounts of wine I was fed.
*9.30pm: Finally in town, heading for the nearest Weatherspoons for some cheap beer.
9.40pm: Acosted D's uncle, who happened to be the doorman at Weatherspoons.
9.45pm: Made D's uncle hold my fairy wands and pose for pictures...
9.46pm: Got told to 'Sod Off' by D's uncle.
10.00pm: Headed for the next pub
10.05pm: Found a table...
10.10pm: Found myself being dragged up on stage for an impromtu strip show
10.15pm: Found out the girls had paid £6 to the uglist man in the pub to strip for me.
10.16pm: And that he worked there
10.30pm: DJ insisted that I get the pants from some bloke as a trophy of my night.
10.45pm: Had said pants.
11.00pm: K decided to wear them on her head for a laugh.
11.01pm: Promptly threw them across the dance floor when skid marks were discovered.
11.15pm: Fell over, Hard. when trying some funky dance moves...
11.16pm: Told that said funky dance moves made me look like I was being electrocuted.
11.17pm: Realised that elbow was killing me and decided I'd broken it.
11.18pm: Forgot elbow was killing me and continued with the funky dance moves.
11.30pm: Left pub for food
11.45pm: Told the kebab man to give me 'meat & bread dammit'.
11.50pm: Also told the kebab man to 'get that stinking salad off my meat!! Did I ask for it?? It smells of piss!! Do you use piss as a dressing? They use piss as a dressing!!'
11.51pm: Asked to leave.
11.51pm: Without kebab.
11.52pm: K bought me my meat & bread. Was very happy.
11.59pm: L decided to nick a wheelie bin.
11.59pm: A large skip like wheelie bin
12.00pm: Wedged said wheelie bin in lane. Still there Monday morning.
12.01pm: Got back to pub
12.05pm: Attacked D with fairy wand
1.10pm: Got told that man who stripped for me 'does it all the time for a fiver'! We were robbed!!
8.30am Saturday: Woke to stinking hangover and sore elbow
8.35am: Couldn't understand why elbow was so sore
8.50am: Discovered half my elbow skin had come off
9.00am: Tried to wash off the writing on my arm??
9.01am: Writing will not come off
6.30pm: Still have 'injured' written on my arm in red marker pen.
7.00am Sunday: Still there
9.30pm: Still there
7.30am Monday: Still there albeit faded a little.
Now: Still there although have scrubbed at it with white spirit. Boss keeps threatening to light a match near me.
posted by LMPP at 3:16 PM
It sounds like you had an awesome time...the best nights are usually followed by mornings with mysterious injuries and then a bit of time trying to piece the night together...followed by cringing at your stupidity and then laughing because you know you would do it again if you could! :)