Everyday brings more spam...
Today, 2 emails received at my work email caught my eye...
One was to 'enlarge my penis for just $3' & the other was selling me a 'Vagina Destroyer'.
If I had a tiny penis, I would certainly be delighted that I could enlarge it for $3. That's like, what £1.50 over here? WooHoo!! D certainly does not need enlarging, although Darth could benefit. Imagine, Stud Darth with the big willy, wooing female felines all over the country! Do they make such offers to kitty cats? One snag though, Darth tends to chase his own tail because it startles him when he flicks it into his eyeline. Just imagine if he started to attack his doodah if he caught sight of that...?
I certainly do not want to buy a Vagina Destroyer. Sorry, but no. Ask a woman who desperately wants to be a man perhaps? Maybe? Or a Nun? Might make some money there mate...?
ERASURE!!!!! WAS!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D seemed less enthusiastic once I went mental & danced like a startled buffoon. He didn't really know any of the songs (I knew them all and sang them as loud as I could!!) God, I loooooove them so much. The set was fab, all glitter & lights & bright costumes. Andy Bell is still as fit & gay as ever. Vince Clarke didn't move much & had the tiniest laptop to play all the amazing tunes. They didn't stay on the stage long, the set was over by 10.30pm, but for the encore they played Stop! How Fucking Long has it been since I heard that song?? Mutherfuckin' ages that's how long!!
By the time we left & got back to the car, D hunched himself as far into the door as he could possibly go & stared at me much like someone would stare at a man with a machete dripping with blood. Apparently I'm a closet mental patient who can't control their arms. Granted, I did smack him in the face a few times with my crazed impression of dancing but hey, not my fault the seats are too close together! At least he wasn't bruised. The bloke on the other side of me actually moved away & kept rubbing the side of his face. Oops!
One was to 'enlarge my penis for just $3' & the other was selling me a 'Vagina Destroyer'.
If I had a tiny penis, I would certainly be delighted that I could enlarge it for $3. That's like, what £1.50 over here? WooHoo!! D certainly does not need enlarging, although Darth could benefit. Imagine, Stud Darth with the big willy, wooing female felines all over the country! Do they make such offers to kitty cats? One snag though, Darth tends to chase his own tail because it startles him when he flicks it into his eyeline. Just imagine if he started to attack his doodah if he caught sight of that...?
I certainly do not want to buy a Vagina Destroyer. Sorry, but no. Ask a woman who desperately wants to be a man perhaps? Maybe? Or a Nun? Might make some money there mate...?
ERASURE!!!!! WAS!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D seemed less enthusiastic once I went mental & danced like a startled buffoon. He didn't really know any of the songs (I knew them all and sang them as loud as I could!!) God, I loooooove them so much. The set was fab, all glitter & lights & bright costumes. Andy Bell is still as fit & gay as ever. Vince Clarke didn't move much & had the tiniest laptop to play all the amazing tunes. They didn't stay on the stage long, the set was over by 10.30pm, but for the encore they played Stop! How Fucking Long has it been since I heard that song?? Mutherfuckin' ages that's how long!!
By the time we left & got back to the car, D hunched himself as far into the door as he could possibly go & stared at me much like someone would stare at a man with a machete dripping with blood. Apparently I'm a closet mental patient who can't control their arms. Granted, I did smack him in the face a few times with my crazed impression of dancing but hey, not my fault the seats are too close together! At least he wasn't bruised. The bloke on the other side of me actually moved away & kept rubbing the side of his face. Oops!
posted by LMPP at 3:56 PM
