Happy Happy Joy Joy...

Why is it that when I want the cat to cuddle up to me he does his best to get away, yet when I really don't want him to cuddle up to me he's hell bent on doing so...

The last 4 nights have been hell. We don't have a door in the flat that shuts properly so Darth can push his way in at any time. For the last 4 nights, he's taken to sleeping on my side of the bed. While I'm in it.

D's side isn't good enough for Darth. It has to be my side and it has to be where I would put my legs. So, for the last 4 nights I've been either curled right up or sleeping on an angle which pisses D off no end because I 'intrude' into his 'space'.

I've tried pushing him off, he just gets right back on. This cat is the cat equivilent of a serial stalker. Today, I am the equivilent of a mental patient intent on eating people who come my way. 'What's that Steve? Come into my office, I'm going to bite your head off!'

Apparently, according to the radio, 'Elvis ain't Dead.' If that bloke sings 'Elvis ain't dead' one more time I'm going to shove the radio up his arse. Oh god. Now I have Will bloody Young warbling nasally about letting people down.

Seriously Will, no one gives a shit if you didn't put 'her first'. Her? Thought you swung the other way mate?

I've ran out of people to eat. I'm off to find some.

Normal LMPP will resume once she's had a nice long cat free sleep.