6 innocent things...

Ok, here is what i was talking about in this post. 6 things came out of my mouth this weekend that were highly innocent, but, could of been misinterpreted by dirty minded people, such as myself.

a. 'that is waaay to big to fit in my hole'. I was talking to my Mum, who tried to shove a rather large plant in a hole that i had dug for a much smaller plant, in the back garden. Mum then told me not to be so suggestive.

b. 'On the laminate, THE LAMINATE'. To my cat, who was quite happily pissing on the carpet, at least 2cm away from the laminate.

c. 'If you lick it, it will get smaller'. To my nephew, who cried when his lolly shrunk through over lickage.

d. 'Have you got a bigger one?' To my fellow barmaid, when she gave me a diddy plaster that would of fitted on an ants leg.

e. 'It's not my fault it doesn't fit. To my pub boss, when the part he ordered to fix the burnt out glasswasher wouldn't fit.

f. 'Jesus, that's massive'. To D, when a big hairy spider ran across the kitchen floor.

See, all above board and innocent.