Once a upon a time...

...in a city not too far from the sea lived a young girl called LMPP who liked nothing better than to sip cocktails by the sea as its gentle waves lapped around her ankles. LMPP was delighted because August was almost upon her which meant she could take her jolly holidays and mosey on down to the beach and live out her yearly fantasy. So she scrimped & saved and dusted off the manky old tent and bought lots of new beach things to make her holiday complete. Eventually, there was one thing left to do... house the cat for a week.

So she called her mum.

'I'd love to help but me & your father are off that week too. We are going to Minehead!'

Undeterred, she called her mum in law.

'I'd love to help but I am away in Solent that week'

A bit put out, she called round all of her friends.

'No, no, no, no, NO.'

So, as a last resort she called a few catteries.

'WTF, HOW MUCH????'

So, LMPP is no longer off on her jolly holidays by the sea. She'll just have to wait until September when her mum is home to have the cat and when the sea is bloody freezing!

Alone no more...

At last after 6 looooooong months of stress, useless temps & way too much work, Tart has returned from popping out sprogs to immerse herself in spreadsheets, emails and general hard work.

...

Ok, maybe a bit too unrealistic. Tart has returned to immerse herself in spreadsheets, EBay & random websites not involving any kind of work whatsoever.

So Yay to Tart! Welcome back to the fold. Now get your ass down to McD's and buy me a Sausage Grill.

Weekender...

Friday:
Met up with friends as D abandoned me for his secret society. Spent a good few hours being ignored by friends workmates, apart from one who looked and acted incredibly gay, but insisted he wasn't as to quote, "I'm a Dad" regularly throughout conversation. Gave up trying to be noticed and headed back to the local, to find D completely plastered and talking shite. Went to 'Miss Millies' to feed said drunken husband who ended up covered in bits of fried chicken & barbeque sauce. Marvellous.

Saturday:
Hosted a dress fitted for friend so she could see if her wedding dress fitted. It did. She looked stunning!! Tried on Bridesmaid dress to see if it fitted. It did. I looked marvellous, not stunning. That's her job. Later went into town with Mother to buy framed prints of fabulous tree photos. I love trees, especially black & white trees. Well, black & white photos for trees. Took Mother for company, but also because she would buy one for me. I'm quite sneaky like that. Spent £80 in one go, lets not tell D. Pootled along Saturday evening to a recently refurbished, mega uber pub for a feed with a friend. Managed to wangle free dessert & drinks. Not telling you how, it wasn't legal. It was their fault I would hasten to add, they should have paid more attention. Ended up back in the local to wait for D to finish work whilst admiring his bosses new puppies until one decided to piss all over my lap. Thanks!

Sunday:
Did the usual and woke up 10 minutes before I was due to start work. Made it to work on time although I'm sure that the state of me scared off a few punters as work was very, very dull. Doesn't help that the boss keeps barring people. After 7 hours of hell, went home to have a bath and locked myself in the flat. The bathroom is outside the flat. The door handle broke. Hoorah! Had to ring D's boss to come upstairs & let me out. Darth was delighted as I couldn't shut the door which meant he could escape freely and wander into the pub downstairs. My poor cat must have drank his weight in Blackthorn. He stank of it. Plus he didn't wake this morning to greet me with his usual pissiness so he must have a hangover. Please note, I didn't get my cat drunk, he did it himself so no pointing the finger at me being a cruel pet owner, I can't help what other people feed my cat when I'm in the bath.

Today:
Went to work, on time, (Woohoo), and spent most of the day answering calls & texts from friends regarding yet another crisis at the pub. Not getting much proper work done so am blogging as it's near enough time to go home.

Question: How would you feel if you worked for a place that looked upon you as a sort of temporary supervisor, which you enjoyed & have offered to do more permanently which was well received by your employers, who then hire someone to take the role of supervisor without an if, but or why? Would you be upset enough to quit, or would you just accept that they actually had looked upon you has temporary until they could employ someone else? I know what I would do, but what would you do?

I've lost sooo many days...

I got incredibly drunk last Friday night!! Yes it deserves 2 exclamation marks as lately I don't 'do' drunk that often. And the reason that I don't 'do' drunk that often? Well, as my title suggests, I've been incapacitated for some time since. Most normal people take a day, 2 at a push to recover. Me? I recovered yesterday. But I did drink a lot, honest!

Me & D watched the film ' The Pursuit of Happyness' last night, the one with Will 'yuummmmm' Smith in it. Although I did try and stay awake to watch it, it didn't happen. I remember watching the bit when Will is hit by the car and then nothing until D berated me for falling asleep.

D: You fell asleep?
LMPP: *startled* I didn't!
D: You so did!
LMPP: Honest I did not.
D: What happened at the end of the film then??
LMPP: Ummm, the credits??
D: ...

I went to bed after that. It wasn't late and I still managed to wake up 5 minutes before I was due to leave for work, the latest possible time I could leave and be in on time by the skin of my teeth. 5 minutes to get ready, have breakfast & leave with a full face of make up is doable, but not today. Sorry, not in the mood.

And today had to be the only day my boss decides that a 7.30am start is a good idea for him this week.

What a bummer eh?