Did we all have a very merry crimbo...?

I did. I ate waaaay too much.

In fact, in my haste of shovelling rather scrummy, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, roasters into my gob, a stray bit of sharp, crispy roaster penatrated my poor mouth, between the tooth & the gum. I was still picking bits of potato out 3 hours later. Today, my face is still swollen & now I can't eat anything cos MY MOUTH HURTS!!!

My own fault, yes I know. I couldn't even eat the cold turkey salad stuff my mum made.

Nor the homemade turkey stew.

Nor the homemade clementine trifle with fresh cream & chocolate sprinkles.

Nor the homemade mince pies & sausage rolls.

Nor the homemade cheese biscuits with sweet thai chilli sauce, warmed for perfection.

Believe me, these were eaten on my behalf. There isn't anything left now. It makes me very sad. I consoled myself with a rocket shaped ice lolly. Not homemade.

No contest is there?

Anyway, the rest of Christmas was fab!! D bought me perfume, cat ornaments & a Nintendo DS, with games as he thinks I could benefit from some 'Brain Training'!!? My mum knitted me a big fluffy bunny rabbit & bought me a cat print umbrella and a porcelain cat & gave me £50. I have various vouchers for various stores which I will heartly spend on Saturday, and mommy in law gave me some jewellery, a big tin of party ring biscuits & vouchers for Ikea. We drank lots, ate lots (until the tooth incident, then I watched people eat lots), watched Finding Nemo, the Queens speech, Doctor Who, Eastenders (to the disgust of my mother), Coronation Street, Love Actually & The Simpsons movie during which I fell asleep.

So really, Christmas was great this year. How was yours?

Randoms of the week

This week I have...

Gone shopping with Mother only for her to wander off whilst I'm buying tights & remain missing for half an hour! She also took all my shopping with her. So for half an hour I'm frantically calling her on her mobile which, surprise surprise, is switched off and eventually she reappears and annouces that she got bored & thought she'd do some window shopping while she was waiting for me. WTF woman? Tell me next time, I almost rang Dad & reported you missing in action! You know what that would have meant?!

Wrapped Christmas presents, solidly, for 3 hours!! 3 bloody hours! I have bought waaaay too much this year!!

Seen the bank about a mortgage. Me & D have to save at least £8000 if we want to buy D's mum's house in August. We are £2000 in, wish us luck!! At least the bank wasn't scary, I was half expecting a big, bad I SAID NO.

Come home from work & found D had completely decorated the front room full of Christmas decorations, complete with lights around the fireplace & tinsel on the cat. The cat was less than impressed. Love you D, this is why you are my hubby.

Gone to work to find out that 2 more people I knew have died. Thats 7 this year. One died from bowel cancer (he kept that a secret!) and the other from meningitis (scary)! Both were top blokes. Its a shame as the one that had meningitis had battled throat cancer twice & beat it. Fate can be a bastard sometimes.

Witnessed that TV program Skins filming in the pub last week! We are famous!!

Come home from work & found the cat had flicked a claw yet again & opened the freezer door. I really wish he would shut it afterwards. The freezer door is now sellotaped shut & the cat has strict instructions to stay away. Like he will listen to me mind, he's a cat.

Discovered that one of my fave bloggers has made her blog open to invited readers only. Please, please, pleeeeeeeease invite me! I love your blog, I don't like the whole 'permission denied' message, it makes me feel i've done bad things.

Talking of bad things, I apparently got steaming drunk last Saturday night & vandalised stuff (oops, sorry) & held a one sided convo with the cat. (why are you so small? Do you hate being small? Do you wish you were tall? etc.). I have no memory of any of this so it may be that i'm being lied to for others amusement. I am way too refined for such outlandish behaviour. I think.

So that's the highlights of my very eventful week. Next week should be eventful too, we have our staff crimbo party. I will tell you all about it...

Random Stuff...

I like grapes, especially red ones.
I buy red grapes & put them in my fruit bowl every week.
I then chuck them out after a week because I'd forgotten to eat them.
It really pisses me off.

Last week, a man in our yard slit his wrist whilst trying to score a large sheet of paper with a knife. Unfortunately for him, he managed to slit himself vertically right down the middle of his artery. You can imagine the blood. The ambulance took 12 minutes to get here. 12 minutes with a slit wrist = a hell of a lot of lost blood. The paramedics by all accounts were rude & standoffish with him. I so hate this country sometimes.

He's ok now, 3 hours in surgery & a lot of cleaning up for his coworkers. I expect he is feeling incredibly sore now though.

Yesterday was my nephews 11th Birthday. 11?!! Wow. What follows is the conversation I had with him when I went to give him his birthday present.

LMPP: 'Happy birthday Stu-Poo'
Stu: 'Grunt'
L: 'Have you had a nice day? What did mum & dad get you?'
S: 'Grunt'
L: 'Did you get to go ice skating with Saleem?'
S: 'Grunt'
L: 'Do you want to watch Elf with me? It's on now.'
S: 'Grunt'
L: 'Ok then, here's your present'
*lots of rummaging & tearing*
S: 'Grunt'
L: ...
S: ...
L: 'Well, happy birthday anyway'
S: 'Grunt'
D: 'Hey Stu-pot, Happy Birthday!'
S: 'Hey Uncle D, come watch Elf with me'
L: ...
S: 'Oh, Auntie K, some rugby boots would be good for my xmas present. Ok?'
L: '...oh ok then'
S: 'Grunt'

Such wonderful communication between Auntie & Nephew. Wait until I offer him some sweets next week, he will be brimming with conversation.

Little Shit.