Bleughhhhhh

Darth decided to wake me up Friday morning with the delightful sound of a kitty cat barfing up a hairball. You know the sound. So i kicked D outta bed to clear it up as you do, but when i eventually dragged my sorry ass out of bed for work, the front room was swimming in kitty puke.

Nice.

Darth then proceeded to barf all fucking day. And night. And most of Saturday. And it was real stinky, putrid puke.

Sometimes i really hate cats.

But i couldn't be mad with him, he snuggled on my lap feeling sorry for himself on Saturday afternoon, only jumping off to puke some more. I then made D stuff some worming tablets down Darth's throat. Mwahhhhhhhh!!!

He didn't puke after that.

You wanna know...

...what gets on my tits? The people who don't quite get it when i say 'AARRRGGGHHH FUCK ME IT'S HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGE' when i run away from a monster spider. They think i'm joking when i say i'm petrified of them. It's a REAL fear people, i want to pass out when i see one bigger than my little toe nail. You wanna know what gets on my tits even more than that??? The people who then think it's Fucking Hilarious to pick up said monster spider and chuck it at me.

Thud!

That's me fainting cos, you know what, a flying monster spider, by its own means or not, freaks the fuck out of me.

So, people. Unless you want to cart me off to hospital with a massive head wound where i hit the ground like a dead weight, don't fucking chuck big monster spiders at me. Got it?

(luckily, this one hit the ground and ran away before it could even touch me. It helped that i ran away once i heard the 'Hey K, here you go'.)

Oh fuckadoodle Dandy!

Last night, me and D thought we'd be really adventurous and have a picnic on the common. D did marvellously well with the contents of the pic, we had corned beef rolls, strawberries, french fancies, lots of jaffa cakes, bananas, mangoes and a ton of squash.

So off we went to the common. We took a nice blanket and some magazines and we led in the shade of a massive oak tree...

And then we were eaten alive by every single ant on this planet.

Fucking ants. Everywhere. I spent an hour flicking ants off me, off D, off the blanket etc. We gave up and went home, where, i spent a very long time in a cold shower cos i overheated and was all dizzy and sick.

Tomorrow, i will be taught how to play golf. I really can't think of anything more exciting i'd rather do. Oh, apart from shitting my own head out of my ass. That sounds reaaaally good.

Bullies

The foreign girl (L) is being bullied at work. Not by everyone, just by one particular person. She hates her so much.

There is no reason for it. L's English has improved so much she's having conversations with everyone and understanding. She's not making as many mistakes as before. I told her to see our boss and tell him if it's upsetting her. She won't.

It's frustrating. I actually get on with the woman whos doing the bullying. She tries to draw other people into her bitching. I've stopped working with her now thank god so she can't implicate me.

Tart is poorly. Awwww. Feel sorry for her. She's pregnant on the hottest day of the year!

Dead bodies and stuff

Recently, i have become addicted to CSI. More specifically, CSI Las Vegas & CSI Miami. Not crappy CSI New York though. In the last week, i have found myself snarling at D to change the channel at 11.00pm so i can become mesmerised for an hour, or sometimes two. If i'm out, i clock watch and then bugger off home to catch it. If i miss it, i'm a nightmare.

God, i'm obsessed with murder and stuff. Not a good obsession to have.

D loves it though. He can play Bomberman or whatever on the computer uninteruppted.

Darth barfed on my bed yesterday. He hacked up his biggest hairball yet. I was torn in between congratulating him on his achivement, or throwing him across the room for barfing on my bed. Hardly the laminate is it?? I had to spend a total of 2 and a half hours washing, drying and making the bed again! I hate making the bed. Didn't help that the washing machine is having one of its 'i'm not fucking working for you' moments.

12 hours until my next installment of CSI...

Melting

It's way too hot to do anything other than site here and slowly cook.

I've already had a fight with an up the duff Tart as to who is getting the most fan time. I think i lost though i'm too hot to care.

I wanna go home