Fer F*&ks Sake...

You remember ages ago me ranting on about the shite that was flying between my landlords & the manager? Well, I think it may be happening again. They've rented out the room to a girl they've known for years & last night I caught the signs of an explosion brewing. They were blantant enough, I think the 'don't talk to me' comment proved I was right. Oh well, heads down time again.

I'm so not coming out of my flat ever.

I watched the sequel to the TV mini doc 'Lucy, a Teen Transexual' last night. It was called 'Lucy, a Teen Transexual in Thailand.' The first one was really good. It followed her through the trauma of having boobies put in to start her gender reassignment. She ended up with 32DD's I think. The second one did piss me of though. The first 1/2 hour repeated the first documentary but really fast. The same scenes & the same story. Then, it showed in articulate detail the making of a moo moo. And I mean close up detail. Seriously made me shudder. It then spent the next 20 minutes filming her in a Thai hospital & then a hotel recovering, the most exciting bit of this 20 mins is when she peed for the first time as a woman & discovering that her new bits worked brilliantly. Then, it showed her getting home to the airport & hugging her mum and then nothing. The documentary had ended. I felt a bit cheated, I wanted to see how she was coping, livimg out her dream of being a fully fledged woman. She did comment that there was 'so much more space to roll my hips when I walk'. To her, that made her feel more like a woman than just having the boobs & the bits. I did cry a bit, especially when her grandad & uncle had to go back to England when all their money was stolen, she spent 3 weeks on her own. But overall I wasn't satisfied with this sequel, I wanted to see her after the operation, living her life they way she always wanted.

Maybe they will make a 3rd. I hope so. 'Lucy, the Teen Transexual 1 year on' or something!

Everyday brings more spam...

Today, 2 emails received at my work email caught my eye...

One was to 'enlarge my penis for just $3' & the other was selling me a 'Vagina Destroyer'.

If I had a tiny penis, I would certainly be delighted that I could enlarge it for $3. That's like, what £1.50 over here? WooHoo!! D certainly does not need enlarging, although Darth could benefit. Imagine, Stud Darth with the big willy, wooing female felines all over the country! Do they make such offers to kitty cats? One snag though, Darth tends to chase his own tail because it startles him when he flicks it into his eyeline. Just imagine if he started to attack his doodah if he caught sight of that...?

I certainly do not want to buy a Vagina Destroyer. Sorry, but no. Ask a woman who desperately wants to be a man perhaps? Maybe? Or a Nun? Might make some money there mate...?

ERASURE!!!!! WAS!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D seemed less enthusiastic once I went mental & danced like a startled buffoon. He didn't really know any of the songs (I knew them all and sang them as loud as I could!!) God, I loooooove them so much. The set was fab, all glitter & lights & bright costumes. Andy Bell is still as fit & gay as ever. Vince Clarke didn't move much & had the tiniest laptop to play all the amazing tunes. They didn't stay on the stage long, the set was over by 10.30pm, but for the encore they played Stop! How Fucking Long has it been since I heard that song?? Mutherfuckin' ages that's how long!!

By the time we left & got back to the car, D hunched himself as far into the door as he could possibly go & stared at me much like someone would stare at a man with a machete dripping with blood. Apparently I'm a closet mental patient who can't control their arms. Granted, I did smack him in the face a few times with my crazed impression of dancing but hey, not my fault the seats are too close together! At least he wasn't bruised. The bloke on the other side of me actually moved away & kept rubbing the side of his face. Oops!

Today is important...

September 19th 2007. A very, very important day!!

Important because of 2 things.

Reason 1. Tonight I'm off to see the bestest band of the 80's...



That's right, I'm going to see ERASURE!!!! I'm so excited, I really can't wait until 7.30pm so I can skip to my seat and strut my stuff to the best band of my childhood!!

I do have to keep reminding myself that they are really old now & that they will probably sing loads of new stuff that I'll hate but hey, it's Erasure! I never thought I'd ever see them live!

Reason 2 (the most importantist): HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MAX!

Today is Max's 1st Birthday. He is a very special little boy because he is the son of Bogie & Beaky, 2 of my closest & bestest buds.

I hope you have a fab birthday & 17 years to go before Auntie LMPP can take you to the pub!!

Max, I'm sorry I can't be at your birthday party today because I will still be at work but I will see you tomorrow with a massive pressie! Big slurpy kisses & fat snuggles to you beautiful boy!

See, told you 19th September is special!!

Depressing...

I was called up by the Doctors to make an appointment for my annual pill check. It's no biggie, I've been to loads & they've all been satisfactory. Until this one.

I'm gonna tell you a secret so no laughing OK?

The nurse weighed me, looked again, looked at me and said...

'You have put on 8 pounds since your last pill check. You are now classed as overweight. You need to shift at least a stone & a half and then we will need to review your pill.'

Eh, excuse me? 8 pounds in 1 year? I don't think thats bad. But, to blatantly refer to me in a roundabout way as fat offends me. Did she notice the size of my boobs? They are at least a stone, and I'm fairly tall, not 6 foot or anything but tall enough. I have a little pouch that D thinks is sweet. My ass isn't massive & i only have cellulite in places only me & D can see.

It was the look she gave me, as if I was 40 stone or something. I was half expecting her to offer me a wheelchair in case I was too fat to walk anymore. Not that my ass would fit in one apparently.

You've all seen my wedding photos, I'm not hideously fat am I?

Sod off nurse, I'm not going on a low fat diet or exercising more just because you think I'm obese. I'm happy where I am thanks. Good job I don't have the mindset to take your comments to heart & develop an eating disorder now isn't it?

Now, where's my KFC?

This is seriously getting boring...

This blog is turning into a kitty blog. I'm so sorry. It's just at the moment nothing exciting is happening apart from Darth doing Stealth Cat stuff. Like stealing chicken from D's plate the second he looks away.

Darth Vadar = Stealth Cat Supreme!

Let's dreg my brain for something more interesting to yap on about.

My friend L is moving to Leeds. Probably in the next 8 weeks or so, depending on when the house is sold. I'm so sad, it's like losing an arm or something. Leeds is like, 4 hours away or something by car. In my car it'll probably take the best part of a day or more. I'll have to get a plane. That freaks me out more than driving on a motorway.

My Wedding Album finally arrived like 3 months later.

The pub is soooo boring at the moment. Although where we live got raided the other night and we didn't hear a thing. My boss has fixed the alarms now so at least if we get robbed again we will hear it.

Agggrrraaahhhh. I'm going. I'm being incredibly boring...

Distressing...

I watched a kitty cat get run over yesterday. I didn't know what to do so I drove off. God I feel guilty as hell now.

I made it a mission today to find out what to do in that situation.

Obtain the number of your local RSPCA centre now. Go on, do it.
If you see a animal get hit, stop & call the number. Tell them what's happened. Try & catch the animal and wrap it up in something warm & soft & soothe it. Take it to the RSCPA centre. They will call the owners if there is a collar or a microchip.
If you live somewhere other than Britian, find out what to do where you live. You'll be doing the pet world a fantastic thing.

Seriously, It really shook me up and now I wished I stopped & helped it.

Other kitty news, Darth is now on a prescribed diet. He took one look at the food and stalked off. He hasn't gone near it. To be honest, I wouldn't either. it looks and smells vile. I'm going back to the vet later to try and find something else to feed him, before he eats me or something.