Bumble Bees

God i'm so busy i'm buzzing like the aforementioned bee!!

Someone groped me Sunday night, whilst collecting glasses he rammed his hand between my legs.

It was horrible!!

From the mouth of Tart

'I'm thinking of some kind of porn... bada baa ba daaaaa'

Err right....?

God damn you

Dear Tart,

I know you will read this eventually so...

Goddamn you woman for going sick on the only day i have to invoice biiiiig motherfucker invoices and put on masses amounts of motherfucker orders!!

Motherfuckermotherfucker.

Get your ass in here and HELP. Spew quietly though ok.

Lots of Love The-Bitch-from-Hell-cos-it's-fucking-busy.

Oh, p.s; The original Bitch-from-Hell is off sick too and you've missed it yet again!!
Mwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mad i tell you

One of the girls that work in the pub is a trainee hairdresser and often does home visits when it comes to the rest of the bar staff. I've let her loose on my hair once or twice and she's not bad, but i always offer her money or her dinner as she is often starving.

Anyway, she came to work last night all tearful and depressed so i asked what was wrong. Man, i wish i stayed at home. She's sick and tired of all the 'freeloaders' asking her to do their hair. She has to pay for the product from her salon and she has no time to herself ever. I said well the answers quite simple isn't it. Stop doing it for free OR stop doing it altogether. Personally, i'd charge the ass off each and every one of them.

She bleated on for around other 10 minutes about how she can't because they'd all hate her blah blah blah. She's only a baby, 19 at the most and so stressed out. Christ, no ones gonna hate you if you ask them to come into your salon instead.

I know i should be more sympathetic towards her, but it annoys me when someone has a silly little problem like that, that is easily remedied, but he or she rather wallow in the pit of self pity they've created instead.

Maybe i'd be more caring if she came in and said that every evening she is being held hostage in a tiny room and being forced to constantly cut peoples hair with no break to use the loo?

Actually, i'd laugh.

I think i overheard the tailend of a conversation last night which shocked me. As i walked around the side of the bar i was greeted with the sight of my boss stamping his feet and whining 'why won't you play with me?' to the trainee hairdresser, while she stood there with her arms folded shaking her head. Apparently he was being 'a silly old fool trying to cheer me up'.

Hmmmm?

Silly little girl

I got myself all in a tizz last night. I cried and stomped my feet and sulked and cried some more. D and Darth hid from me while i berated and cursed the world for being all nasty and horrible. Why? Because i can't afford a mortgage and i have to rent a poky 1 bedroom flat until i can. And the reason why i can't afford a lovely big luxury house with a beautiful garden and little bluebirds singing away, while the sun never stops shining on me is down to one reason and one reason only...

...my nasty, smelly, evil money grabbing ex boyfriend.

Even though it was me that walked out and left it all behind. Even though it was me that, a year previous to said walking out, consolidated both our loans in my name... (stupid, STUPID girl). It was you that pleaded poverty. It was you that had me rushing to get my name off that mortgage cos you told me you had to go bankrupt. It was YOU that said we couldn't sell our flat cos you had no where to go. And what do you do huh?? The SECOND my name is wiped from that mortgage you buy a brand new car. You suddenly have pots of money while i'm left with a massive loan, wiping out all possibilties of me & D buying a nice big house. I even asked you to help me pay it since most of it was yours and you told me to 'go away' in a more sinister context...

I hate you. HATE!

4 years. 4 fucking long years until i'm free of your debt. 4 long long years before i can consider applying for a mortgage without the mortgage people laughing in my face.

Why am i so sore about it now?? Because you are selling our 'unsellable' flat for nearly twice as much as we paid for it. You bastard. You motherfucking piece of shit not worthy to fall from my cats ass. Are you going to give me money for 'your' loan? No? why, i could of guessed as much.

So go on, have your big house with my money. See if i care. Oh, and if it burns down one day, don't you DARE come blaming me.

I really, really, really hate you. So bad.

Arrgghh

So the incredibly irriating fuck bubble of a woman came into the pub yesterday and harped on yet again how the world owes her a living and how us non smokers take the piss. Will someone please pass me a gun. I yet again refrained from losing my job and punching her and, being the nasty bitch i am, i sent D to chat to her. D has the patience of a saint.

Well, this weekend i...

Went food shopping and spent waaaay too much money on shit i probably won't eat...
Took my poorly mum to the library (good daughter deed of the week!)...
Went to a bridemaid dress fitting AND paid my deposit...
Went to work and had an ashtray lobbed at my fellow bar wench...
Was bribed to go to church with a McDonalds breakfast mmmmmmm...
Went to church so i can get married in the church i want, surprisingly, i now know all the words to certain readings they do every week... does that make me sad?
Went to work and was confronted with fuck bubble woman...
Went to work again 4 hours later and was confronted with wedding ring man. The one who made my wedding ring purchase a fucking nightmare.

The cat attacked my thigh and i hit the floor, my legs are killing me now! It feels like i've been to the gym and ran for about 9 hours. I do believe a cat curry is the order of the day...

I'm having a moan

Some people really get up my nose. It's not easy for me to dislike people as i'm pretty easy going but this woman, god i hate her. She has to be the epitome of sadness. She sits in the corner of the pub, at 'her' table (no where else is good enough, i've had her chuck a fit when someone else sits there. She's asked us before to move the offending people and when we've refused, she would shout and bawl and generally be unpleasant) and slags everyone off, usually quite loudly and then gets all upset if someone dares speaks nastily of her.

The main reason for my moan is that last night she announced that even though the smoking ban will come in force next summer, she will continue to smoke because thats her right, and 'no fucking official that wants to make everyone unhappy is going to stop me'. For fucks sake. It's not like it's us banning smoking is it. I don't want to ban it, my boss doesn't want to ban it, but if we get caught once the ban is in force, its fines aplenty. So there she was, bitching and moaning and i'm trying to ignore her because thankfully, she's bitching to my colleague, when she blurts, 'It's ok for you lot, you don't smoke. I expect you are rejoicing now that you can work in cleaner air when us smokers have to suffer the cold weather for a fag. Oh it's all so stupid, us smokers fund the health service for you non smokers...' She then proceeded to comment that smokers have more rights when it came to the NHS and non smokers should have to pay more for the privilige of doctors and hospitals etc. OM fucking G. Is she completely insane??? I had to walk away before i hit her. I pay my taxes. I am entitled to the same care has she aren't i? She doesn't work at all. Her ex husband pays all her bills AND probably funds her fag habit. No, i'm not happy that they've banned smoking. A lot of my friends smoke that it's them that will suffer most. I rather work in a happy enviroment than a sterile, hostile atomsphere, which will happen when it's bucketing down with rain and all the smokers are trying to have a puff. Yes, i do use the NHS a lot due to my problems, but it's not like i have a choice. I didn't choose to be so poorly. I cope with it and i pay for it through my taxes. Smokers do not support me financially, I'm quite capable of that myself.

I really wish this woman would get a wake up call and fuck off somewhere else. I don't need this kind of shit from now until armageddon from her. I am so close to losing it with her big time.

That's better. I have moaned and now i'm happier. (Thank fuck for that, Tart agrees)!

So they are voting to ban smoking in public places today. That means if they vote yay, then we'll have to ban smoking in the pub. Being a non smoker you'd think i'd be joyful about it. Well i'm not.

I'm not, only because i think it's an infringment on human rights. Oh, and it'll mean my boss will have to lay people off if everyone buggers off elsewhere to smoke and not to our pub, so my job maaaay not be safe. Hmmmm.

As far as i'm concerned, if people want to puff away, let them. It's my choice to work in an atomsphere that attracts smoking so i'm quite happy for people to smoke around me. I do know some people that moan blind about having to 'breathe in other peoples smoke'. I often think hey you chose to work here so quit your moaning.

So to me the decision to ban it is quite possibly a bad thing. But i'm not going to dwell on it. I've had my moan and now i'm ok!

Happy Valentines Day everyone. Mmmmmwwwwwaaahhhhhh!!!

God.

I've started this year with 2 funerals. Tomorrow it's my nans. Hopefully this will be it for my professional mourning services this year!

My nan reached 92 and never had a life threatening disease. She finally died of a chest infection. She was a fighter. She also beat a council official with a brolly at the age of 72. Don't mess with my nan!

I hope i reach 92. I also hope i reach it with clean health, just like my nan.

So nan, wherever you may be, leave the brolly alone.

Highlights of ones travels...

* Pregnant Friends
* Catching up with people who i haven't seen in yonks
* Good food and beer a plenty
* London. I love London!
* Curing my armpit and boobie pain by removing my belly button ring. Don't ask!
* Starbucks Hot Chocolate!!! MMMMmmmmm
*D's first ever sit down Chinese meal
*The London Eye! Shit scared of it!
*Seeing all the fake celebrites at the waxworks, and abusing them appropriately

My friend has posted some of the pics over on his website! Go check them out!!

Well here i am back in work after a horrendous holiday. Yes, it was horrendous!!

The London bit was wonderful. I have photos to put on here but will do it once i have more time. My friend is having a baby so she spent most of the weekend spewing. Nice. I then came home to...

... a touch of food poisoning.
... a horrific cold.
... My nan dying.

So we spent the rest of the week at home, me barfing, sniffling and then mourning. Hoorah!! A marvellous time.

So off i go to catch up with my work and i'll catch up here later!!

Hey Guys...

...I'm baaaack!!

I will update you all on my antics tomorrow once i have slept off this pissing cold!!

Missed you