Friends?? Pah!

Today, one of my closest friends has managed to hack me off something rotten today! Go, go make a cup of tea and settle yourselves down and i will tell youse all about it. Oh, don't forget the hob nobs!! **mmmm hob nobs...**

My friend, (we will call her M for Muppet for now), is severely doing my head in. I know i shouldn't gripe or bitch as she is a friend and friends don't moan about other friends blahdee blahdee blahhhh. But really, I need some help in fathoming her reasons for the latest stupid thing she has done!

She is completely, head. over. heels. in love with a bloke, (we'll call him S for super duper), that drinks in the pub we work in. Seriously, she would drop all and sundry and marry him tomorrow if she could. I don't actually think he's that impressive but hey, he floats her boat 'n all... He thinks exactly the same of M. They actually make quite a cute couple...

S lives with his girlfriend of 3 years. He is in the middle of a quite amicable break up with her. She wants half the house and profits from the sale, you know, usual stuff that would happen if you broke up with someone that you had a mortgage with. She is refusing to move out until the sale has gone through. I didn't get a bean when i split up with my ex cos he pleaded poverty and 'couldn't afford to sell the house' so the second my name was removed from the mortgage, he went out and bought a brand new car, did the house up... I was screwed left right and centre.

Anyway, M has been quite patiently waiting for the time to come when she and S can shack up together, have babies and generally grow old together.

Here come the 'piss me off' bit...

Sunday just gone. S informs M that he has to bring his girlfriend (ex) to the pub that evening because his parents were down from up north visiting and they wanted to try and make it a nice weekend for them, his mother in particular wanting to visit the pub as it is where S spends 99.9999999% of his time. All fine and dandy, no??

They come into the pub, M sees them and throws the mother of all strops!!!! Fuck me, there were cries of why has he bought her here. Do they look happy? Are they having fun? What a cheek... so on and so forth. She has convinced herself that S has lied to her and he hasn't split up with his girlfriend et all.

I met her cries with cries of because he told you why. No, she looks pissy as sin. No, they are talking and looking miserable. It's a pub! so on and so forth.

M decides that she's had enough of being lied too??!!?? and gets back with her ex boyfriend, the one she originally went out with to make S jealous. (we'll call him G for gullible). G is also a friend of mine and when M split up with him the first time i had it from both corners. I have literally just managed to chivvy G up when M decides it's time to make S jealous again.

**rocking slowly back and forth**

For fucks sake!! Why, why why why why?????

I'm narked because i warned M not to use G again because he's a gentle soul and really can't handle the rejection. I told G not to let M wheedle her way back in. I told S to either hurry the fuck up with his break up, or let M get on with her life and find happiness else where.

M said she wouldn't as she had a new respect for G.

G said he would never trust her again.

S said he would speak to M and reassure her of his intentions for her.

Why for the love of cheese do i bother?? My other friend, B, has completely washed her hands of the whole lot and won't speak to M anymore. M keeps asking me why. Do i tell her she's losing friends or do i play dumb??

Find me a rock people!

Reason why she's pissy today? i dunno, you choose.

Kids or Cats?? Hmmm...

I'm a girl! **really?? Never have guessed** I'm 26 years old. I'm getting married. It seems that these three statements are a licence for every old biddy to crow at me "ooooo when are you gonna start having babies then?" or " it'll be yooooooooou next" said in a way that makes me think 'OMG i'm gonna get hit by a bus and die in the next five minutes!! Run... RUN!!!!!"

huh... How about when hell freezes over and Satan dies of frostbite??

Don't misunderstand me, i adore children. I have a wonderful niece and nephew. They are a delight to visit and watch them learn new things and grow over the years.

They are not, however, a 'delight' when they decide to bite my ankles and stab random sharp objects in me when they are in 'playful' mode.

(on a complete tangent, my niece learned the word 'Bollocks' the other day and ran round my mums front room singing 'Bollocks bollocks you wanna play with me bollocks, they need emptying cos they're gonna explode soon...' I think somebody should of closed the bedroom door before requesting that their bollocks were emptied. It didn't help matters that i exploded with laughter and my rather embarrassed SIL banished me to the garden until i calmed down. Awww bless, she's only 6.)

and you wonder why i don't want children??

Babies hate me. They cry if i as much fart in their direction. and it really fuels the irritation in me when friends who have had babies want me to hold them. Why??? Do you want your child to scream they place down the minute they see me?? Cos that will happen!! Believe!

I rather have a cat than spawn another me. I have a cat called Darth. He's the bestest cat in the whole wide world. He sits on the arm of the sofa glaring at me while licking the gaping hole where his balls should be. He hates me at the moment cos it twas i who took him to the evil vet/torturer who quite swiftly lopped his balls off and left Darth feeling, well, like a cat who has lost his manhood in rather a demeaning way. All the girl cats will laugh at him cos he has no balls. **ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**

If i ever announce on this blog that i'm spawning a mini me, then remind me that i rather have a cat!!

And yes, for those who might be wondering, i had the delightful phrase whispered in my pretty little ear last night...

'ding ding round two...'

and you know what?? I couldn't stop laughing!!

Reason why she's pissy today? For fucks sake NO!!!! I'd rather have a cat ta.

WTF...?

Please can someone tell me how the fuck do i post pictures on my blog?? So confused!! (doesn't take much!)

Let me know here and i will love you for eva!!!

There may be a pack of scrumpciously delish minty club bars innit for you...

Ding ding round two...

Just a short post today...

I love sex as much as the next girl. Me and D have copious amounts of it. But it really irritates the fuck out of me when he whispers in my ear in a really purvy voice...

"Ding, ding, round two"

**spew**

Why not just climb aboard and start again???

Reason why she's pissy today? "Ding ding round two"!!

Seriously...

... I would not of believed this if i hadn't been there!!

Because i love my money i do 2 jobs. One in an office and one in a pub, and considering i am a newly engaged woman thank fuck i do!!

Anyway, every Sunday evening we have the special needs group in using our skittle alley at the pub i work in. They range from physical disibilities, mental disorders, downs syndrome etc and they are a really sweet crowd to work with. There is one girl who has severe epilepsy and often has fits while in the pub.

Last night, she had a really severe fit and i mean foaming at the mouth job.

When she comes to she's paralysed for quite sometime and last night she managed to bite through her lower lip and was beginning to become quite agitated because she couldn't move to see what was happening and she couldn't understand where the pain was coming from. So we called an ambulance on the request of her carer cos the cut was quite bad and she was becoming more and more distressed at not being able to move.

The operator asked if she was breathing. Yes we said. She asked if she was communicating. Yes we said. She also asked if it was life threatening. No, we said although the girl is paralysed and is quite distressed. (by this time she had wet herself and now was howling.) The operator then told us that an ambulance was on it's way. Groovy!!

So we waited

and waited

and waited

The girl regained some feeling and calmed down.

we waited

and waited

and waited.

The carers decided that as she was able to move that they would take her to the hospital which is 5 mins away themselves to get her checked over. I called and cancelled the ambulance. Or so i thought...

1 1/2 hours AFTER we first called them, it turned up. The paramedic asked me why we didn't cancel the call. I said we had. He said we couldn't of and left.

The most ironic thing about this... The ambulance station is less than 200 yards away from the pub.

My god. I know they have to prioritise but come on. Ok, it wasn't a life threatening emergency but surely 1 1/2 hours is a joke?? It's not like the ambulance station is a small one.

Reminds me of the time when my dad had a funny turn and the doctor called the ambulance bus thing to pick him up and take him into hospital for tests. It was supposed to collect hime at 2.30pm. Nothing came. Then at around 9.30pm we hear sirens. The sirens stop outside our house, we open the front door and there's 2 paramedics going on about a 999 call from our house and where's the patient while my dad is in front of the telly watching the bill with half a digestive and a mug of tea going 'i feel much better now thanks.'

He still was forced to go though!!

And the doc said he probably had a 24 hour bug thing and to drink plenty of fluids.

Hee hee i don't think i've seen my dad so pissed off in my entire life.

Most amusing.

Reason why she's pissy today? Very. Slow. Ambulances.

Oh my god!!!! omg omg omg

I discovered last night (eavesdropping really, god i'm soooo naughty **snigger**) that my loverman is off to my dads to ask him the one question that strikes fear into the hearts of many young men about to do the same thing...

'Can i have your daughters hand in marriage?'

Whoa!!!!

Apparently he already has the ring. (hid that well, i can't find it!) And he is just going to get dads permission before he pops the question!!

Now, do i really want to get married??

**pauses to think and have a scratch**

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!!

I want the whole big floaty white dress thing with tons of bridesmaids and everyone looking at ME!!!!! I want all the pressies and the big fuck off party! I want to be with my loverman for ever and a day. I want the whole kid thing (i think)!

Dad, you best say yes!!!!!

On a pissy note (as my blog title suggests!! There hasn't been alot of pissiness going on lately), when will i have the internet installed at home so i can blog at silly times of the day and night!!

Answers on a postcard please to Little Miss Pissy Pants, Blogworld.

It really does bug me. I have to do all my blogging between the hours of 8am - 5pm monday to friday. I can't remember what happens on Saturday when i get to work on Monday!! I've been asleep since then!! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Bloody Stupid internet man keeps cancelling visits, leaving me barren!!

Anyway, here are the top ten things that have pissed me of this week;

10. No toilet paper in the work bog for 2 days running!!!!!!!!!
9. No internet at home - arrrgggghhh!!!
8. Blogger - so slow
7. Too much work to do after being left in the lurch!!
6. No time to watch desperate housewives on Weds!
5. My lungs ow ow ow
4. My boss giving me work not in my job description
3. Loverman not doing the washing up for 2 days!! (its his turn!)
2. No clean pants. Had to buy somemore!!

and number 1 of this week...

1. No one removing the arnold schwartzennger of spiders living in the bog at work!!

and i'm done!!

Reason why she's pissy today? Internet and killer spiders!!!

On me todd.. again

Yet another day at work on my todd because the girl i work with has rang in sick with suspected food poisoning.

I mean, come on, can't you think of a better excuse than that???? I would believe you had it not been your birthday the day before and had your last drink at 3.00am this morning. But hey, who am i to complain. I just have to do all your work today thats all.

Dammit!!

Not really much to rant on about today. My lung are 90% better than they were at the beginning of the week so thats good, though one of my boobs hurt today. Must have slept on my front...

la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Ah well, i'll be back later if i can think of anything to moan about. Or i may do a 100 things that make me happy list if i can be arsed.

or maybe not.

Reason why she's pissy today? I don't think i can be arsed to be pissy. I'm slightly put out but thats all.

OMG look over there...

Just a intsy wincy post today as i am late and i HATE being late.

look look look over on the left!! The kind founder members of The Bloggies have made me a member!!

I have one thing to say...

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

Click on the big purple badge and you could be a member too...

Reason why she's pissy today? She ain't! She's chuffed to fuck!!

Me? Hypocondriac? No, never!!... Maybe...

I do my best to avoid the news.

Pretty strange statement eh?!! I mean, how can someone avoid the news?? It's all around us. It's on every TV channel, radio station and it's the number 1 subject of the daily newspaper. But me?? No, i try and avoid it like the plague. Why???

Well, a short while ago something in my lil' brain decided that nothing good could happen to me and therefore, if i am happy then something has to come along and destroy it. (not my words but hey..) Now, after being in a pretty loveless relationship for the best part of 3 years, i found my soulmate. Soppy cow!! Shortly after this, i concluded that something had to go wrong.
I cannot bring myself to read about other people's misfortunes and when i do, then i start to panic. well, if it happened to them, it can happen to me!!

My loverman despairs of me. He tries his hardest, bless 'im, to quell my amounting fears that i am going to be ran over by a bus, or i am going to contract some horrendous diesease. To be honest, i'm probably in and out of the doctors so much that they will eventually give me a points reward card and congratulate me on being their best customer.

I hate being this way. I really do. I piss myself off.

Any advice from yourselves will be greatly appreciated. I can't be the only one like this in the world.

And now for some ignorance

If you fancied torturing yourselves and have read my 100 things list below, then you may have come across a little rant of mine about one of my friends. I will now elaborate...

I have a wonderful friend. He has been a rock for me for a long time. I find it difficult to make friends and he has helped me blossom and shine **Bleugh** as any great friend would. He's flambouyant, he's crazy, he can charm the ladies, he has the most amazing style, and he's gay.

This does not bother me in the slightest. In fact, he wouldn't be the same if he liked the ladies. I love him just the way he is. However, many others don't.

This is a message to all you ignorant bastards out there that have hurt my friend and others like him.

This is a message to the bloke who 'pretended' to fancy him and put him in a situation that scared me so much i don't want to talk about it. If i knew your name and where you are, i'd have you slaughtered for what you did you fucking piece of dog shit thats not worth being on the bottom of my shoe.

And for all you other tits out there...

Keep your insensitive, small minded comments shoved up your arses where they belong. My friend is stronger than all of you bastards put together. He has the courage to be who he really is. Unlike yourselves. He doesn't care that you think he's a 'poof', or a 'fairy boy'. He is the strongest man i know and i couldn't be without him.

Ok, rant over. I could say alot more, but i'm beginning to upset myself so i'm off outside to slap myself silly and get over it.

Reason why she's pissy today? For being pathetic and living in a world full of tits and bigots.

A real eyeopener

In true style, i have nicked this idea from an email i received from a good friend of mine. However, he will never read this so i shouldn't give a toss. Although, on randomly perusing (sp) other blogs, it seems that everyone else has done it too. So hey!! Why not jump on the bandwagon and continue the trend...

100 things about me.
This is a list of 100 things that annoy me, piss me off, scare me... keeping in check with the title of my blog. I must say, i've surprised myself with some of them...

1. Dentists. Bzzzzzzz need i say more?? No? Well then.
2. Road hogs. Overtaking me in my 1 litre nissan micra? On a main road?? Grrrr
3. Spam mail. Fuck off and leave me alone. I do not what to enlarge my penis?!!?
4. Spiders. ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH
5. Eggs. Pointless. Smell grim. Taste grim. Are grim.
6. Chavs. ooooo lets see how much gold i can wear today...
7. Blinkered people. I have a really great mate. and he's gay. and 9 times out of ten someone will be nasty to him while out on the razz. (Because he's camper than Graham Norton). More on that later...
8. Bullies. Knob Off.
9. Being ill. Moan Moan *splutter* Moan.
10. People that cause me more work than i need to do. Nuff said.
11. My Moles. They like to grow on me and then worry me by doing weird things. grrr.
12. Curly Hair. Only cos i have it, and it's a bugger to get it to go the way i want.
13. Monday the 13th. Forget Friday, Monday's the one to watch for...
14. Shyness. Wish i could be the life and soul...
15. Being 'on the blob'. Do not trust anyone who can bleed for 5 days and does not die. Plus it hurts. Big time.
16. Liars. I know too many of these.
17. Friends who lie. I've had my fair share of these.
18. Food. am v. v. fussy. No restuarant in the land can cater for my tastes!!
19. Mobile phones. Hello? Hellooooo? oh sorry, i had no signal. *grump*
20. Screaming kids. i have none. thank the lord christ and his mighty followers.
21. Muggy weather. My head hurts like fuck.
22. Snotty noses. For the love of god please, BLOW YOUR NOSE!!
23. Football. nothing to say on this matter.
24. Evil fuckers. All you rapists, murderers, child molesters etc out there... Kill yourselves.
25. Shite justice system. The bloke who raped my friend and others is due for parole today. 8 years into a life sentence. Pah.
26. Drink Drivers. OMG do you not see the damage you could, and are, doing????? Nutters.
27. Nightclubs. **shudders**
28. Crazy Frog Mobile thing. Every other bloody advert.
29. Vomit. Run away, run away NOW!!!
30. Two timers. Pathetic
31. Supermarkets. Asda, are you listening??
32. Dogs. Ah not a dog person then?? No am i fuck. Cats are better. Gimme cat anyday.
33. Not having a cat. I want one. wanit wanit wanit wanit...
34. Lager. Puke in a pint glass. Bitter? tick. Wine? tick. Spirits? tick. Lager? bleughhhh.
35. Going to work. Gotta get up in the morning cos we gotta go to work!! Bollocks.
36. Too posh to push. No, i rather have a fucking gert scalpel inserted in me and rip me open. Nice.
37. People who talk lak thez mon. Christ. gimme a gun.
38. Hit and Runs. cowards.
39. Not having enough shoes. mmmmmmmmm shoes...
40. Not having enough money to buy said shoes. sob!
41. Bored now. yes, as am i.
42. Starting lists. see my point??
43. Insecure. am i too fat? does he love me??
44. Microwaves. Microwave blown up?? then i have visited your house.
45. Birthdays. I am 21. honest.
46. Not having a birthday cake. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?? no? bugger.
47. Wet toilet seats. OMG.
48. No tissue paper. OMFG.
49. Not pulling the flush. what am i your fucking mother??
50. Water on my face. I'm drowning... help me.
51. Bank statements. back of the drawer. phew!
52. Farters. of course. it's ok when i let rip *sniggers*
53. Back ache. ow ow ow ow ow.
54. Woken up. Its 5.00AM!!! Bastards.
55. the usual morning sore throat. yes. i can't speak. what fun.
56. Shallow people. be nice to me. go on, i'll be nice too... Then bitch about how fat you are!! Har har har!!
57. Girlies after my man. *growls*
58. Fat bitch Sarah. Nope, i'm not nice to her and will tell her how much i hate her. OMG she is the worst.
59. Blogger. S o S l o w
60. Cheesecake. grim. nuff said.
61. No loving. wheres the sex?? *snore* ah, there.
62. Porn. No, love it really. just checking you're still awake.
63. Sleeping in the day. whoa!!! Wooly head.
64. Sleeping through fave tv. Shit, fuck, bollox...
65. Kids that swear. Oi. stop using that fucking word... oops.
66. Unclean bedding. Lenor, how i love thee
67. Clock watching. It's gotta be 5.00pm now... Doh!
68. No PJs. man i lurveeee my pjs. without them i am weak.
69. Wayhey!!! 69 ners galore!!!
70. Carol Vorderman. i failed maths.
71. No cream with my strawberries. hey, not that cream! purrrrrrrrrrrr
72. Long car journies. are we there yet? i need a wee. Shut up Kate. oh ok.
73. My birth name. whats the point? no fuckers ever used it anyway.
74. Cramp. esp in the leg. when i'm asleep. Fuck.
75. hard poke in the back. No, actually, i quite like that.
76. Me underneath. let me loose baby *growl* I'll ride you like a harley davison...
77. Anal. sorry honey, butts a one way street and that ain't up i tell you.
78. Hey, my house number. Random.
79. Are we nearly there yet?? Yes hon, we are.
80. Dumpees. i'm a dumpee. hurts dunnit.
81. Ignoranace. Hello, i'm here...
82. STD's. humiliating and degrading and yes... i've been there.
83. I'm sooooo like, bored of this. Im off for some squash.
84. and a wee.
85. and a choccy bar.
86. and a chat with Gar.
87. Oh look, i'm back.
88. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
89. ooooo a fly. Kill Kill.
90. begining to get a moody on now.
91. ahh bollox to this...

and so concedes my 100. or 91. as it turned out to be. What fun we've had on this momentous journey into my life. I have shared nearly 6 hours with you. Don't you just feel the love???

No.

Never mind.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Don't you just hate that sound??? Bzzzzzzzzzz the dreaded.... DENTIST DRILL!!!

Obviously i went to the dentist today. And it sucked. Big Time. She scraped, she poked, she prodded. Then she got out the drill.

If one thing puts the willies up me more than spiders or eggs, it's that drill.

**Shudders**

It sets my teeth on edge. Not a good thing since its in my gob. It's the equivilent (sp?) of scratching nails down a blackboard. ARRRGGGHHHH.

Anyway, she buzzed and shrieked and squeaked and poked and stabbed. I cried. (yes, i cried. Wimp? yes i am and proud am i!!)

I'm not in a ranting mood today. Nothing has pissed me off to the extreme where i will rant and rave and stamp my foot. I'm quite subdued. Bloody dentist!!

Although, i did finally manage to get a doc's appointment and finally find out if i'm gonna die.

Answer is...?????

No.

I have a chest infection coupled with a throat infection. Nice. Now on drugs. Wonderbar! He also thinks that i may, i repeat, may have been mis diagnosed with the ol' pleurisy. Eh?? He reckons it was a really, really bad chest infection. I'm like, Cheers mate. I thought pleurisy was something old sailors got. Apparently thats something else... I forget what.

Hey WhatevaSista!! Thanks for visiting my blog. Love yours! Makes me larf!! Esp the elf shorts!! I think there is a debate going on somewhere about the size of your package!! Magic!! As for the plonk drinking exercise, i'm sooo jealous that you could still be quite cohereant after a whole bottle! Me?? Flat on my back and gibbering manically after half. I. am. a. nightmare! Cheap date though!! **ha**

Reason why she's pissy today? I'm not. I'm sulking. My teeth hurt. Ow.

ill - bleugh!!!

Rant of the day - being ill

I hate being ill. It really annoys me when i just get over one cold and another comes along. I hate any sort of pain that involves my head.

Take the last few days. I had a condition known as pleurisy the latter part of last year. It wasn't particulary bad. It was nasty but not as nasty as some people have it. My case was a 'mild' case.

However, it now pops up from time to time. I had a cold a few weeks back. No big deal. then it got onto my chest. Big deal. i am now in A.G.O.N.Y!!
And the doc's??? Sorry, no appointments left, please call tomorrow. Sorry no appointments left, please call tomorrow...

ARRRGGGHHH!!! I might be a goner by tomorrow!!!! Why can't they come out and see me?? Well apparently if i'm 'well' enough to call the quacks and ask for a house call then i do not need a house call and please call into the surgery. Vicious circle, snap, snap. I said to them, how ill do i have to be before someone comes out to see me??? Dead?? No, of course not. Just bed ridden and delireous and unable to fend for myself. Oh and hallucinating.

Nice.

Time to dose myself up on the nurofen and pray to the gods of wellbeing...

Oh, and completely off subject...

Will people who like to view other peoples blogs please stop with the 'ooo this person can't spell', and 'ooo this persons grammer is awful' etc. They are as intitled to a blog of their own as you are and if they want to fill it with bad spelling and god damn awful grammer then it's up to them. Isn't it?? Natch.

Reason why she's pissy today? Illnesses and crappy quacks!

Work, work, work

Rant for today - Work buddies.

When at work, i like to create a place of serenity and harmony. I like all things to run smooth and to be kept smooth. I hate confrontations and i hate arguing. Like i have said before, and i quote... 'I am a great big wimp'.

Now imagine my dismay when i go to give a work buddy a message to call someone urgently with regards to a situation that previously, before i answered the phone, was between work buddy (WB) and customer from hell (CFH). WB refused, point blank, that he was going to call back CFH as she is, and i quote again... 'a lying little bitch'.

Now, as it was me who took the message, it will be me who gets the grief if WB doesn't call her back.

This really, i say really PISSES me off!

I had nothing, i repeat, nothing to do with this situation AT ALL and now it's on my desk taunting me... ('na na na na naaaa')

ooo and while i think of it... Rant number 2!

Car drivers.

Car drivers who think they own the road. Yes, i'm talking about the drivers who vent their road rage over things that didn't really happen. For example, driving home from work yesterday i encountered a pissy little boy that surely was not old enough to be walking, let alone driving, who was adamant that little ol' me had too much of the road. I mean, i was well within the middle of the road white lines on my side. It's not my fault if someone decides to park their 32 ton articulated lorry on there side meaning that the pissy little boy would have to come onto my side of the road to get round it. He beeped his horn at me several times and shouted at me as i passed... 'get over you stupid bitch'. I could hardly believe it. So i screamed back 'Fuck off and learn the highway code asshole'. With that i floored it in case he decided to come and get me.

God i'm such a wimp.

Reason why she's pissy today? Asshole WB's and asshole car drivers.

Supermarkets...

Rant for today... Supermarkets!

I hate supermarkets. I hate supermarket trollies. I hate checkouts. I hate the layouts. I hate the carparks.

I will now, in detail, describe to you last nights supermarket dash... (or more like supermarket trundle)...

Drove into carpark quite happily singing along to my Roxy Music CD as you do. I spot space. I go to pull into space, car appears in my space. He obviously drove through from a space the otherside and, being the complete self centred, chauvanistic wanker he really is, wouldn't reverse back into the space behind. In fact, he got out of his car, ignored me and buggered off, in the OPPOSITE direction to the supermarket. Knob!

After managing to park my car, i went for a trolley. i found a trolley floating around (They are all on a pound system, i had no pound). This trolley wouldn't be pushed in a straight line. It was like 'No, fuck you bitch, i'm resting'. Bastard.

Now, i only went to the supermarket to by our tea, which was gonna be warm chicken salad with bacon bits. You know, the most satisfying crunchy part of any salad. Bacon bits. mmmmmm i love bacon bits. Could i find the fucking bacon bits????? Where are the bacon bits hmmm? Hey! Asda! Where the FUCK are the bacon bits??? they used to be right here, you know, by the salad dressings and right next to the onion bits, where bacon bits should live. There wasn't even a fucking space for the bacon bits. I asked a gormless looking 'helper' for help. I might as well asked a lump of turd for all the help she was...

Me - excuse me. where are the bacon bits? they used to be here and now they have been moved.
Her - Bacon? why thats by the sausages. I'll just show...
Me - No, sorry, Bacon bits. you know, that go in a salad. Crunchy things called Bacos.
Her - Bacon bits? We've never sold them. I've never heard of them.
Me - yes you have, i buy them from here every week.
Her - no sorry, we have none.
Me - what??
Her - if they are not here then obviously we have none. Are you sure you've bought them from here in the past?
Me - (very low tone) Look. I am obviously asking the cleaner for help. Do not insult my intelligence by suggesting that i am in the wrong shop. I buy the sodding bacon bits from here every god damn mother fucking week. I know where they are kept. I know exactly what shelf they are on. If you cannot be bothered to fucking well go and ask your supervisor for help because you have shit for brains and can't help me then so help me god i will shove the fucking things right up your ass until you are tasting the little bastards. Got me?
Her - ok then.

Conclusion - did i get my bacon bits? No i fucking didn't. Did i enjoy my tea without the bacon bits? No i fucking didn't. Asda, get yourself some decent staff and do yourselves a massive favour. I expect there to be bacon bits next time i shop with you. ok?

Reason why shes pissy today? Incomptant fuckers and lousey supermarkets.

Hey there fellow bloggers...

Why, this is gonna be fun...

Everyday (or thereabouts) i intended to blog about 1 thing that has pissed me off immensely. I will not give you my name, or reveal my identity because yes, i am a great big wimp and would rather sound off anonomously than face the reprocussions of people i rather not piss off. Shall i repeat that...

I AM A GREAT BIG WIMP!!!!!!!!

Rant for today... not doing your job properly.

It's only 9.40am and ALREADY someone has caused me more work than i expected to do today. Why, Why????? i hear you shout. Well fellow bloggers, it's because certain people - no names mentioned - can't be bothered to check themselves while dishing out the toil. Conclusion??? Frantic phone calls to moi stating that work MUST, i repeat MUST be completed by this afternoon so they can lie to their bosses and blame the minions for their lack of intelligence. ME!! Now, i'm not gonna blow my own trumpet and say 'excuse me, i am highly gifted in the art of the english language' because i'm damn sure there are more gifted people than me out there sat day after day in front of a mind numbing screen tapping aimlessly and drinking copious amounts of the black stuff... (black, 2 sugars thanks.) to keep them going, but WHOA THERE PONY BOY, i could do your pathetic job with my hands tied behind my back. And don't give the shit that 'oh it was so busy and it got overlooked', if you weren't too busy picking your ass and sleeping at your desk then my workload would be at the minimum end of the spectrum today.

ASSHOLE.

Reason why she's pissy today: Slack Wankers.